So many of us pay little attention to the inner workings of the mind. Mostly, our thoughts and emotions go unnoticed, except in the subconscious. Since most of these things stem from our childhood, there was something that suddenly struck me. You know how a child is often sent for a time-out when misbehaving? Well… what if what appears harmless turns out to be more detrimental than we think? I’m not saying that this is bad or that parents should not do this. I’m only saying that until recently, we had no understanding of the inner workings of the subconscious mind. What I am referring to has nothing to do with the conscious aspect of ourselves. I am referring to the unconscious part of the mind.
If most of what we carry is unconscious (including deep-rooted fears and phobias), wouldn’t it make sense that one of the reasons some people don’t like to be alone is because of the inner workings of the unconscious mind? I’m not referring to being alone for a few hours; what I am referencing is much deeper than that. I am referencing those that might choose to stay in an unhealthy or toxic relationship because the thought of being on their own is too overwhelming. They would rather be in a relationship than be by themselves. Some people may even associate being alone with something they did wrong; therefore, being alone is like being punished again and again.
I’m not saying that a mere timeout will cause all this, but I am inviting deeper reflection. I think it’s more about the message we tell our children as a result of the time out. When I was taking my Energy Codes training with Dr. Sue Morter, she used the example of a child jumping on the couch and having so much fun - bouncing, jumping, and laughing - until her Gramma walked in, shocked and even angry.
As you can imagine, this little girl suddenly went from moments of joy, laughter, and play to shutting down, feeling guilty and perhaps even some shame. This little girl had no idea what was about to take place. Yes, as sad as she was, the conscious part of her got over this, but it was her unconscious mind that stored this memory!
Imagine this for a moment, if you will. Because of this one event, this little girl (who is now an adult) has unconsciously blocked joy from her life. Remember, this isn't something that comes from the conscious mind, so unless we become aware of our limiting beliefs and sabotaging patterns, the unconscious aspect will do everything in its power to protect us. And sometimes, this protection blocks us from the very things we most desire.
So, if what I am asking could be true, wouldn’t it make sense that perhaps the unconscious mind may see being alone as unsafe? It might even feel rejected! Before you dismiss this entirely, I invite you to ponder this for a moment. How many of us truly spend time alone? I mean really alone! Yes, you might be by yourself, but are you really? If I was to ask you what you do when you are by yourself, what would you tell me? Would you tell me you spend time watching the tv? Or perhaps you might log into social media, pull out PlayStation, Xbox, or some other mind-numbing activity. This is a perfect example of how powerful the subconscious mind is.
I don’t know about you, but I think it is time to change the messages we send to our precious children and our inner child that needs healing. Rather than seeing time alone or a time out as a punishment OR dull (especially for children, teens, and young adults), maybe, just maybe, we could make this a magical time for ourselves. Time to imagine, time to dream, and time to become the creative force of our future selves.
From my heart to yours, I send you love, peace & blessings,
Sherry